All I Want To Do is Cry My Eyes Out
The pain is unbelievable...hard to bear really. I think of this man ALL the time. I go to sleep thinking about him. He's the first person on my mind when I wake up . He is never out of my thoughts. Ever. I feel the pull to him in my chest all of the time. It's like an obsession, but I know that it's not.
I met him a couple of years ago when my son decided out of the blue that he wanted guitar lessons. It had been a pretty bad time in our lives and so I thought okay it might do us some good. Music is so wonderful for the soul and we are both very musical. I thought it might help to relax us so I agreed.
I found this guitar teacher on the Internet. He looked nice and it just felt right.
I'm married to a lovely man, but we have our differences and this guy...I don't know, but there was something about him. He is so much younger than me.
The connection to him is undeniable. It has changed everything. I was asleep before and he woke me up one fine day to feelings I have never before felt. I was dead inside and had numbed my feelings because I had to care for my mum with Alzheimers at home which was really tough.
My son had been through a terrible bullying incident and my husband and I were not getting on so well.
One day after we had been going to him for a while and just before my mum
passed away something really strange happened! Whilst this teacher... whom I found so easy to talk to and who made me laugh so much and who I have to admit I found rather attractive.
Well, we were talking in his hallway I was looking into his eyes and boom suddenly I was outside of myself looking on...watching myself and I watched this energy (is all I can think it was or part of my soul leaving me through my eyes) like leaping flames that went into slow motion from my eyes into his. Time stood still and everything around me disappeared. My heart jumped in my chest and my stomach turned over. He looked away and then I went back into myself and everything went back to normal...well, no it didn't actually and nothing will ever be the same again.
I don't know that he felt anything although now he says he feels a connection to me.
Anyway it's been a long journey of backwards and forwards. Texting and triggering each other. Exhausting and awakening at the same time. Awakening spiritually for me. The love I feel for everything and everyone is different to how I felt before And the beauty I now see all around.
Just today I have found out he has a girlfriend and I'm completely devastated...heartbroken. I think I have to stay away from him, but I can't imagine a life without him in it.
Where do I go from here? Please can someone offer me some advice as I'm sure he is my twin flame and I don't know what to do?