All I Want To Do is Cry My Eyes Out

by Susie
(US)



The pain is unbelievable...hard to bear really. I think of this man ALL the time. I go to sleep thinking about him. He's the first person on my mind when I wake up . He is never out of my thoughts. Ever. I feel the pull to him in my chest all of the time. It's like an obsession, but I know that it's not.

I met him a couple of years ago when my son decided out of the blue that he wanted guitar lessons. It had been a pretty bad time in our lives and so I thought okay it might do us some good. Music is so wonderful for the soul and we are both very musical. I thought it might help to relax us so I agreed.

I found this guitar teacher on the Internet. He looked nice and it just felt right.

I'm married to a lovely man, but we have our differences and this guy...I don't know, but there was something about him. He is so much younger than me.

The connection to him is undeniable. It has changed everything. I was asleep before and he woke me up one fine day to feelings I have never before felt. I was dead inside and had numbed my feelings because I had to care for my mum with Alzheimers at home which was really tough.

My son had been through a terrible bullying incident and my husband and I were not getting on so well.

One day after we had been going to him for a while and just before my mum passed away something really strange happened! Whilst this teacher... whom I found so easy to talk to and who made me laugh so much and who I have to admit I found rather attractive.

Well, we were talking in his hallway I was looking into his eyes and boom suddenly I was outside of myself looking on...watching myself and I watched this energy (is all I can think it was or part of my soul leaving me through my eyes) like leaping flames that went into slow motion from my eyes into his. Time stood still and everything around me disappeared. My heart jumped in my chest and my stomach turned over. He looked away and then I went back into myself and everything went back to normal...well, no it didn't actually and nothing will ever be the same again.
I don't know that he felt anything although now he says he feels a connection to me.

Anyway it's been a long journey of backwards and forwards. Texting and triggering each other. Exhausting and awakening at the same time. Awakening spiritually for me. The love I feel for everything and everyone is different to how I felt before And the beauty I now see all around.

Just today I have found out he has a girlfriend and I'm completely devastated...heartbroken. I think I have to stay away from him, but I can't imagine a life without him in it.

Where do I go from here? Please can someone offer me some advice as I'm sure he is my twin flame and I don't know what to do?

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Feb 19, 2017
I Have Another Perspective For You
by: heartstring68

Many look at who they meet in this life trying to explain feelings and connections that present themselves from their present life experiences. Though we sometimes forget we are infinite beings caught in a life and death struggle, ever aspiring for enlightenment. Traveling from life to life, slowly awakening to our true potential.

When we meet someone that has such connections that we can't explain, we try to attach simple explanations to it. What if he was a beloved lover from a past life? You may have had an amazing love affair or grew old together, or left something unsaid. Even though we don't remember consciously, our subconscious never forgets.

Your answer will likely not be able to come from him or anyone else but yourself. Through a process called retrospection through meditation, which can lead you to the truth. Meditate from this moment slowly back through your life till you reach your youth and birth, eventually your previous life will come forward. Or through meditation connect with your innermost and ask your Monad for the answer. The journey will explode a whole new world for you and reveal what he was to you as well as what he is to you now.

Note: Monad as in Wikipedia
In some gnostic systems the Supreme Being is known as the Monad, the One, The Absolute Aiōn teleos (The Perfect Aeon), Bythos (Depth or Profundity), Proarchē (Before the Beginning), and Hē Archē (The Beginning) and The ineffable parent. The One is the high source of the pleroma, the region of light.

Nov 06, 2016
All I Want To Do is Cry My Eyes Out
by: Shay

Reading your writing, I think most woman can say they went through similar experience.

However, what you need to watch for is that, if your relationship with your husband was stronger, this intensity would not have effected you as much.

I encourage you to sit and think about the following and ask yourself:

Do I want to stay in my marriage?

If the answer is yes, than how can I make it more positive so it is serving my needs as a human, as a woman?

This may mean getting some marital counseling, and remembering the reasons why you loved your husband so much that you married him.

Many ladies in the first 20-30 years of marriage will go through a time, when we need to remember what we loved about our partner, and if there are some issues within the marriage, than during this time many ladies and men look outside the marriage, etc. to get their needs met. However, we all know this is not the solution to fix our problem, it is just an illusion.

Yes, this obsession type feeling also exemplifies the need for some work in your current relationship, so if you love your husband than it is time to renew your love and marriage and remember your vows, specially if you have children. Your decisions will effect more people than just you.

Many blessings, and many of us woman are sympathizing with you as we all experience similar situations.

You are stronger than you think.

Much love.








Nov 03, 2016
All I Want To Do is Cry My Eyes Out
by: Anonymous

I have experienced the exact same intensity. It's so overwhelming. We have tried our best to be together and yet nothing fell into place...I live my days longing for him. I have tried to move on with my life and still find myself only drawn to him... It's an extremely painful ordeal.

When I'm with him, everything makes sense, he is definitely my other half.

This far outweighs soul mates...he has the other part of my soul and heart, I love him and always will.

Oct 31, 2016
All I Want To Do is Cry My Eyes Out
by: Tanya Tkach, Webmaster

Hi Anon,

At this time, all you can do is be thankful that you have met your twin flame, is he is your twin and had the experience.

Now it is time to do your inner work on yourself - going within and cleansing your negative emotions and behaviors and do what you need to do to feel whole and good inside.

Not all twins are meant to be together in this life time. You need to do what you came here to do and if you are meant to be together, you will be.

Learn to love yourself and to give yourself what you need. No one knows you better than yourself.

True love from the heart is not about possession, it is being able to let someone go. True love is forever.

Sending healing vibrations,
Tanya

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