How Anger in a Relationship
Can be Positive!

From my point of view, anger in a relationship is good. It shows what is causing the anger, unless, it is hidden and comes out in sarcastic remarks - then it is repressed anger
Many are not aware that they are angry or even what makes them angry, therefore anger in a relationship can be a positive thing.

Relationships are good for revealing not only your partner's habits but more about yourself.

Here you have the mirror effect - seeing yourself in your partner, especially what you are not accepting within yourself.

You always attract what you need.

When you live alone, it is not very likely that you will get angry with inanimate objects such as your refrigerator or toaster (maybe some do).

In a relationship, two people usually have very different backgrounds with different habits and behaviors, and unless you have learned to love one another unconditionally which is what we all need to learn, chances are that one of you will be bothered by the other partner's habits.

'Don't sweat the small stuff'. This may be unrealistic for many, but the anger is teaching you or your partner what you need to work on.

For example, if one partner is a 'neat freak' and is always picking up after the other, then the one doing the picking up will eventually get angry. Read letting go of anger

The one who is messy doesn't have any problems, because he or she doesn't see it as an issue. The one who is angry is probably feeling put upon - meaning doing all the work only because he or she is the one who likes everything in it's place.

The habit of 'perfection' is controlling the one who is always cleaning, hence anger in a relationship is the outlet.

The solution? Quite simple, you need to either loosen up on your expectations of your partner's habits or release the issues you have concerning feeling put upon.

The issues could go back to your childhood or even a past life. The important thing is to release it, then your partner's messy habits will not bother you. The issues relate to an unresolved conflict within yourself, hence the compulsion or obsession to clean.

When I was younger and less aware, I would always clean when things bothered me. It was a compulsive habit. Now, I clean when dust bunnies start to gather around my ankles. It's all a viewpoint and what is important to you.

Relationships are good for discovering who you are, even the darker side of one's self.

Look within, it is better than blaming your partner.

Return to anger
Return to repressed anger
Return from anger in a relationship to anger triggers