He And I

by Lili

Before I met him, I had very dark time after my dad passed away in 2008. I live in an Asian country, but he (the person I met) is a Westerner.

He moved to my country in 1997, and started his website where I met him. It's a classifieds site.

After my dad died, I had problems with my mom and her boyfriend, we fought a lot. So, I left home. I wanted to destroy myself. I needed money then I decided to do an escort job, like a prostitute actually. I used his website for finding clients.

One afternoon I got an e-mail from his site, telling me my photo had a flag on it and
I should delete the flag.

I thought it was just an e-mail from this website, but it included the CEO's information.
Let's call him Mike. He asked me if am I am a real person or an agent. He seemed quite interested in me, but he never told me...
He just said that my ad is welcomed to be posted again and he will be happy to hear my feedback.
And he asked me to talk on MSN.

Since that time. I felt like he is the one that I knew for a very long time. I think he was trying to find me. I know the way we met was very weird.
I was a young bad girl trying to make dirty money from his website. And he sounded like a jerk boss trying to sleep with a sex worker.

But I'm not that type of woman, I'm well- educated. That sex job didn't last for long.
The first time I met him in his office, he was a bit wary, I came without asking him. But, I asked him if I can I hug him.

He said yes, and suddenly walked to me, and we hugged each other very, very tight.
I'll never find anyone else like that...it felt like we didn't want to stop hugging each other.

Anyway, it didn't work out. I was mad because he was busy with his job, and his children. And he had troubles with his wife.

His wife is Asian,from my province. It seemed accidental. Maybe his wife is supposed to be me...I don't know. He doesn't talk to me anymore.
I'm scared to be with him too, because he makes me feel too happy, too insecure. I have too many feelings about him.

He is on my mind every minute and this drives me insane. I don't like these feelings. I'm not sure if I should trust him, maybe he is just a liar like other men I knew...

Bad news, he has a liver disease now, just like my dad. My dad had a liver disease for years, ever since I was a kid. That's the reason why I became insane and depressed and insecure.

Now he is like my dad again. Of course, I'll be with him until he dies. I love and hate him at same time.

I just want to save him. But, he said he is scared of my anger, and he is trying to save his marriage for his kids' sake and that I'd better back off.

I got a job to work in another country, so I can run away from him. But now, I miss him for sure.
When I think of the crazy story between us, I'm so confused.

By the way, we are both creative.
He plays guitar and I play drums and we both draw too. When we were young, we both wanted to commit suicide.

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