How My Twin Flame Helped Me To Heal, Till We Meet Again...
(New York )
The place was Monaco and I had just arrived from NY to stay for a couple of days, then continue on for a meeting in Barcelona and in London. It was late and I sat all alone in my little hotel room and felt incredibly sad that I was in this magical place, but all alone.
I did some meditation and elevated my frequency to a much higher level, feeling pure love and light inside. The night started to whisper on the windows calling my name, inviting me out to dance. I remember thinking, "What am I doing in here when life is going on outside, go and live your life to the fullest, be free".
Butterflies emerged as I walked down to the center of the city and when I arrived 50 meters away from the place my heart skipped in anticipation of how I was to pull this off alone. Please let someone rescue me!
Three men walked towards me from a place as I was looking at my phone still building up courage to enter alone.
I feel this strong pull and as I look up I see right into his eyes. Dark brown like mine with eternal depth. The world stopped around us and we were the only one singing the same song. We smiled at each other for a while, and as he was just about to enter the parked car in front of me, he stopped and looked at me again, closed the door and came over to me.
We just stood there smiling and laughing. Finally, he invited me to come with them to another place. I knew I was safe, and accepted the invitation and as we sat in the car our hands at one point touched each other. Electricity stormed through our bodies and I witnessed a little spark in his eye. We just sat there starring into each others' eyes as a mirror of ourselves.
He and I decided to leave his friends at a bar shortly after and drove up to the mountains. I knew a sacred garden behind a beautiful castle with breathtaking views over the ocean.
This night was clear and as two playful kids we ended up dancing in that garden under the open sky filled with stars and moonlight touching our hearts. Like two puzzles coming together holding each other tight, I just knew I was home. Finally at home in my heart with an unconditionally love present throughout.
We stayed up all night talking till we had to surrender to the rising dawn, but never left each other's side. The next day he asked me to come with him to his house in Rome and to stay with him for some days.
I know I just met him, but my heart felt YES. The only thing was that I had a meeting in Barcelona, and afterwards I had to go to London to fly back to NY so I had to decline, but he insisted I change my ticket from London to Rome instead so we could see each other.
Three days after, I went to stay with him in Rome and we shared the most wonderful 5 days together. We were an amazing team and lovers beyond words, an instant inspiration to each other. On the 3rd night, he surrendered to his feelings and whispered in my ear, "I love you".
As he didn't know all of me in such short time to say that with such conviction, he surely knew my soul as if we just picked up from where we left the last time.
For 3 months we had an amazing long distance relationship, me in NY while he was in Rome. I noticed that I constantly grew on my spiritual journey, also how much we believed in each other's potential in life.
We talked every day, often many times a day and with a little help from Skype we could also see each other. We talked about our future and I decided to take a job in London to be closer. I got a great job opportunity there, and then later on I would move to Italy.
But the distance and insecurity, fear and ego got the best of him in the end and 5 days before I moved from NY to London, he broke up with me. He was angry and accused me of cheating on him, and then he disappeared.
I was utterly and absolutely shocked, beyond devastated and as I tried to reach him and explain, there was no answer!
I knew I had been the best girlfriend possible giving him unconditionally love and acceptance. I did not want to change
him, even knowing his (dark) sides that sometimes annoyed me because I knew that was just a mirror of myself. But since cheating is not a part of me, I had to wonder what the hell went wrong here!
One and 1/2 months later, even while in deep sorrow of his absence and still trying to swallow the shock in a new city, with a new job and no friends, I find out through the media that 4 days after he broke up with me he went public with another girl covered in all the gossip magazines in Italy.
An even bigger shock was that those photos were taken when I was supposed to have been there just before he broke it off. Months went by, I tried to move on the best I could.
He contacted me to meet. Messages of missing each other started, but never got followed up by a true heart to heart talk about everything. We only had a spontaneous meeting for one night for 6 hours, 5 months after the break up when we had our last physical encounter once again in each other's arms feeling at home in our souls.
Afterwards, every time he would initiate contact with me, the woman he left me for would come back into his life and create a lot of drama and manipulation as they hadn't broke it off in the media yet.
I chose not to have anything to do with all that and decided not to be a part of that drama and let them play out their roles in their own story.
Almost a year after the break up, I felt stronger and better when I realized the biggest gift of all - the complete abandonment of loosing my family as a child had made me suppress a lot of sorrow and grief. I had to be strong as a kid.
So even though I have spent most of my life working with myself and have grown enormously, there was still a very essential part that stood in the way of my true completeness. A part that needed to be brought up to the surface, right in my face so I could once again re-experience the pain and heal.
Had this experience been played out by just a normal guy or even my ex before him who is a soul mate, then I would just move on and carry on that pattern and recreate the victim role of abandonment with a new man.
Only until that special one comes along who serves you in the highest purpose for your growth and completeness it all becomes so crystal clear. Unfortunately, it was illustrated through the highest pain as well!
It took my twin flame to come along and help me get clear of all that grief and sorrow from my past. It was buried so deep within me that I needed a shock like this to understand why he was the biggest helper in my spiritual growth and for that I am him always grateful!
My gift to him was showing him unconditional love throughout in a physical presence even when he doubted he would ever be worthy of that or that it even existed.
I spent 14 months in London and as I could feel his guilt of what he had done, even though he was telling me here and there that he missed me. I wrote him a heartfelt letter where I confirmed how special and beautiful our connection was and always will be.
On the other hand, I also had to realize he was still too far behind on his journey to combine our two worlds with undeniable commitment following two flames emerging.
There is no such thing as: Let's see how it goes, specially living in two different countries. You know truly in your heart that it is all the way or no way at all.
After 14 months in London not really feeling at home there, I moved back to NY to start my new life and new career again even though I have no doubt I will find complete happiness in my life with or without him, I still miss him and feel him in my dreams and thoughts often.
So maybe one day, when those issues are resolved within us and the conscious mind will take a bow for the heart we will be guided back to complete what we started or continue this human life experience with the beautiful memory in our hearts of that burning flame inside us of deep unconditionally love and (home) completeness.
One thing is for sure, this is not the last of it!
Till we meet again...