My Twin Flame
A few years ago I met my twin flame even though I never knew what a twin flame was, but when we met it was an instant recognition filled with the most calming peaceful feeling. Nothing had ever felt like it.
We began dating and I began having even more spiritual experiences than ever before. I had always been more in tune to these experiences, but I had only once before ever heard a voice in my head.
However, not too long into our relationship, when we said we loved each other a presence came over me. It's hard to explain exactly, but it was like the "me" in my head was not there. Instead there was a presence and it spoke, but it wasn't to me, it was to my partner.
At first, it was a happy presence and it said "finally" then it was very sad and said, "I've missed you, where have you been?"
Then it repeated, "I've missed you," three times and the presence slowly left me, after which I was so overcome with emotion. All I could do was cry and I honestly do not know why or what I was feeling.
Over the years when we were together my partner would have experiences as well such as visions or dreams from a loved one, always with us together, but always with a futuristic 'how things could be' tinge.
My partner is not very in tune with spirituality and is a very afraid individual who is not open to the truth. Our relationship had many obstacles to overcome and in the end our love was not enough to overcome life.
We parted horribly. We do not speak. We have been apart for a year now, and it's still hard to believe. We had parted before, and each time I would receive a sign, either a dream of a passed love one of us together in the future, or a message not to give up.
One particularly poignant time I had been very down, and not knowing how we would ever overcome everything (he was with someone else, an age gap, different life goals) I had gone to compose myself in a public restroom.
When I looked up from the sink, there was a picture that stated "Never, never, never, never, give up". All of this, combined with the intense feeling that I had from day one that no matter what, everything would be ok, is hard to reconcile with how things are now...and how it ended.
Yet a year ago, when we parted again I received a comforting message from a loved one who had passed on who suggested to hold onto hope.
I still have experiences with my ex, vivid dreams, sometimes he is trying to get me back and I am just so angry with him. Other times he is crying and remorseful and says things where I knew how scared he is.
The only time I have run into my ex was not 24 hrs. after I had dreamt the exact scenario the night before.
How can we be so seemingly connected, yet so far apart and tearing each other apart on this plane?
We shared such an intense love that it seemed that something wonderful should come from it, but instead I find myself barely hanging on and he is back to his self destructive tendencies.
It seems we both actually suffered from being together! In many ways I am doing a lot of tough life learning, but what did I do to help him?
As I mentioned at the beginning of this that a few years ago I never knew what a twin flame was. After the break up I began to re-embark on my spiritual journey (looking for answers) and things started to fall into my lap...one was a little book entitled, "The Journey of Little Crow" by Angelina Heart.
It was like reading about my relationship, and it triggered a new journey that has led me to discover the realm of angels, guides, twin flames, and the like that I never knew about before.
So in a sense, meeting my flame has been for the best and it has spurned me to grow as I am now. But, it is difficult to fathom.
I suppose if I could fathom I wouldn't be on this journey, but it is difficult to know how I can move on with my life without my flame?
Am I to adhere to those never give up sentiments, have we missed the boat along the way or, is the way back to my flame away from him?
I know I can't change anyone. I know that in the end we will be together whether it is in this life or another, but it is hard to let go...and even harder to know whether I am supposed to...
Do you have an advice/insight?