Overcoming Grief is Allowing Your Emotions To Surface

Overcoming grief is a learning process, and you, especially, need to be gentle with yourself. There is no magnificent pill that helps us to accept all the negative emotions that we feeling are due to our loss. Time is a healing antidote and it is different with each person.

This is a good time to start praying to God.

Conversations with GodTalking to God

It is important to go through your own personal steps of grief, not necessarily the ones from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross as explained in her book "On Death and Dying."

Her findings were taken from personal interviews with terminally ill patients, not those who experienced personal loss as in death of parent for example.

Running from your emotions such as anxiety, anger, pain and loss is the worst thing you can do as I did. Grieving does not have to be forever, but when you deny it, it takes longer which is what happened to me

You can learn from your experiences once you are able to open your mind and identify your emotions. In my case, it was simply grief. I avoided facing my mother's death and that fact that I was so dependent on her, which I didn't accept.

I coped with death of a parent by keeping as busy as I could, but it was the worst thing I could do.

I was always looking for excuses not to face my own pain which evolved into running to do whatever I could.

Writing as a correspondent for a local newspaper was my antidote at the time. Since I lived in the country, I did a lot of chasing after stories.

It was good for a period of time. Then it (my emotions) hit me!

Believe me, the longer you avoid coping with emotions, it becomes overwhelming when they finally burst, and it could be over anything.

You never know how you are going to feel when a loved one dies. When my partner died three months after my sister, I felt numb, confused, and exhausted. I wandered around in my nightgown for days feeling totally unaware of my surroundings.

Read about my experience in recent deaths. You can feel the same amount of sadness in the loss of your pet. Read about pet death.

This overwhelming feeling of sadness can occur when relationships end, or you can feel tremendous anger or rejection. Go to healing a broken heart.

Each one of us handles our emotions differently. By avoiding them you may eventually feel depressed which usually happens when you turn your anger inwards towards yourself. Find out about repressed anger.

Suppression of your emotions could also lead to physical pain, pain that your doctor cannot find any causes.

Methods of Overcoming Grief

As you are overcoming grief, you first need to acknowledge what you are feeling.

  1) Try reaching out to friends and community instead of withdrawing into yourself.

  2) You may become busy as I did, but this only works for a certain time period and you need to be aware of your actions.

  3) It is helpful to express your emotions and feelings to your friends, a support group or a professional. As you become aware of your emotions, try to release them in a manner that is comfortable to you.

  4) Some or you may want to deal with your sense of loss by self destructive behavior such as drinking, drugging, cutting and so on. These behaviors will only mask your pain temporarily and will prolong your negative emotions as they fester inside of you.

  5) My method, which was very comforting for me, was writing.

   6) Do something that you enjoy doing, such as painting, dancing. I started playing music again, something I enjoyed during my youth

This morning practice led to my spiritual journal and eventually to my first book – "That Damn Voice Again, Communication from Beyond" which is on sale on my website.

You may not realize it at the time, but whenever something terrible happens in your life or a door closed, another one opens and something good is created. My book led to the creation of this website.

A note of caution: If you have suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative that you talk to someone that you trust about your feelings or to seek professional help.

Go here for help. National Suicide Prevention hotline in the US, or call 1-800-273-8255. they will connect you to a crisis center in your area.

Taking Care of Yourself Is Important
When Going through Grief and Loss

Here's a summary of what to do during your steps of grief:

  • It’s important to take care of yourself while you're overcoming grief.
  • Express your emotions, if you feel like crying, do so. Crying is very healing and it will take as long as if takes; there is no time limit on crying.
  • Talk about your feelings to others if you can, but don’t worry if you can’t. If expressing how you feel is foreign to you, don't give up. You need to keep doing it. Also, learn to be gentle with yourself.
Overcoming GriefOvercoming Grief
  • Exercise as much as possible, it’s good to get your adrenaline going and to move your energy even if it’s only walking. I used to take long walks with my dogs down country roads while talking to my loved ones (on the other side).
  • If you can, join a support group where you feel safe and can talk about your intimate feelings.
  • Start writing a journal as I did. It was my form of therapy and it helped me to get through each day.

You will get over your anxiety of expressing your emotions. Remember, overcoming grief, as in the case of death or loss of a relationship, or losing your house or health or job or any type of loss, it will take as long as it takes.

In the case of a loss of a loved ones, it depends on your relationship with the one who died, and what your karma was between the two of you.

If you would like a healing session with me you can click me or pay through PayPal now to expedite the process.


Read karmic soul mates. Remember that you will always hold a special place in your heart for the one you are grieving.

These related links on grief are in the 3rd column

  • how to deal with grief
  • death of a parent
  • pet death

Return to recent deaths from overcoming grief

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