Reignited Feelings After 15 Years

by MissPiggy
(US)

I had met this man 15 years ago, and we had instant connection. My connection was unlike others - this was strong. However, because of my shyness and lack of self-esteem, i couldn't reciprocate his interest towards me. I had basically told some of my friends about my crush, and how good looking he was.


One of my friends (not a close friend) started dating his brother, and she told the guy I liked about my crush - casually mentioning it.

After a few days of finding out, he came to see me with an unrelated business, and I redirected to someone who can help him, but he insisted that he wanted me to help him or rather wanted my product instead of the other. I again, too shy, brushed him off and had a very unusual communication. My reaction and my conversation were so focused on making sure he knew that i don't like him and it came out a bit cold and rude.

However, I was heart-broken, because i knew my intended message to come off uninterested was received, but I knew it wasn't how i really felt. I wish I wasn't so odd and strange that I let someone i really liked go.

Any how, I thought about him here and there over years. I even got married...but casually thought about him during rare times.

I was casually looking at profiles of people I knew on Facebook(FB), and i found his. I looked up more information about him, and at some point got depressed. I became severely depressed for a few months - unable to function. Its been 5-6 months since i found his FB profile, but I think about him and FB stalk him constantly. I am mildly depressed and obsessed. I see 11:11s a lot, I ask for signs and I sometimes get it.

Our first and last names both equate to 11... I just read someone write about its relevance, but I don't know how relevant that is.

I don't and never have had a loving marriage. We are there because it is convenient for the both of us. I haven't seen this man for 15 years. I have also became spiritual and reading a lot about twin flames....but don't know if I need help for my obsession and my inability to function.

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Oct 09, 2013
Reignited Feelings After 15 Years
by: Tanya Tkach, Webmaster

Hi MissPiggy,

You can't really get help for your feelings for this man, the heart wants what is wants. But, you can get help for your depression. It's important that you speak to a counselor or someone who knows how to deal with depression - you are carrying a lot of negative emotions that are blocked within you that is causing your depression.

Unless you can identify your negative feelings, and release them, you will continue to be depressed.

I would gladly work with you, but I have a feeling you have financial issues.

What you can do is keep a journal where you write down all the things that have happened to you during your childhood - write about the situations, what happened and how they affected you - your emotions and so on.

Keep writing in this journal until you cannot write any more. Put it away for some time, then re-read everything that you wrote. Once you are done, make a ceremonial ritual where you burn the journal. Forgive everyone who has hurt you, and release all of your hurt and pain to Divine Light.

Read my page on releasing at letting go of anger.

Depression is anger turned inward. It is important to release your anger otherwise it will fester inside of you and cause illness.

You can also read my pages on depression, starting with how to deal with depression.

Sending you healing vibrations,
Tanya

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