Reignited Feelings After 15 Years
I had met this man 15 years ago, and we had instant connection. My connection was unlike others - this was strong. However, because of my shyness and lack of self-esteem, i couldn't reciprocate his interest towards me. I had basically told some of my friends about my crush, and how good looking he was.
One of my friends (not a close friend) started dating his brother, and she told the guy I liked about my crush - casually mentioning it.
After a few days of finding out, he came to see me with an unrelated business, and I redirected to someone who can help him, but he insisted that he wanted me to help him or rather wanted my product instead of the other. I again, too shy, brushed him off and had a very unusual communication. My reaction and my conversation were so focused on making sure he knew that i don't like him and it came out a bit cold and rude.
However, I was heart-broken, because i knew my intended message to come off uninterested was received, but I knew it wasn't how i really felt. I wish I wasn't so odd and strange that I let someone i really liked go.
Any how, I thought about him here and there over years. I even got married...but casually thought about him during rare times.
I was casually looking at profiles of people I knew on Facebook(FB), and i found his. I looked up more information about him, and at some point got depressed. I became severely depressed for a few months - unable to function. Its been 5-6 months since i found his FB profile, but I think about him and FB stalk him constantly. I am mildly depressed and obsessed. I see 11:11s a lot, I ask for signs and I sometimes get it.
Our first and last names both equate to 11... I just read someone write about its relevance, but I don't know how relevant that is.
I don't and never have had a loving marriage. We are there because it is convenient for the both of us. I haven't seen this man for 15 years. I have also became spiritual and reading a lot about twin flames....but don't know if I need help for my obsession and my inability to function.