At one time I was confused about soul mate definition so I went to God and asked him for His help. Here is what He said about the definition of soul mates:
(You can find books on soul mates, also spelled soulmate at Amazon)
A soul mate is one you have connected with over many lifetimes in various situations, and when soul mates come together during a specific life time to help one another ascend in one’s spiritual development, they are referred to as primary soul mates
Okay, so what are lovers called?
Usually if the relationship lasts over a period of time, it is a primary soul mate connection.
What is the difference between a soul mate and just another person that we don’t have any deep connection to in this life time other than knowing one another?
In your life time, all those with whom you are deeply connected are referred to as your soul family as I said earlier. What has happened over time, especially during this time period which has led to confusion of terms, is that people use the term soul mate with only a lover and that is not the case.
So there you have it. After God gave me the soul mate definition and defined what is a soul family, the important people in my life had another significance for me. I realized that we had all come together, especially my particular family for a specific purpose.
We came here to work on our issues or our spiritual lessons. It became clearer to me why I had chosen my mother, my two sisters and my father (whom I felt abandoned me at an early age) to work on my rejection issues.
For a more detailed discussion that I had with God concerning soul mates, read karmic soul mates.
Unfortunately, the term soul mate has been over-used for every love relationship. You've heard the term,
"He/She is my soul mate and we are destined to be together."
My usual response is,
"Only for the length of time it takes for the karma between two people to be resolved."
The relationship may last a life time, maybe only a couple of years or months. We cannot judge any relationship, it will last as long as necessary, when both have worked on their karma, and know why they are together.
A soul mate can also be your father, mother a boss or just a friend. It is someone with whom you have had a relationship over one or two life times, and if you come together, it is to resolve issues that were not completed in another time line.
My advice is for you to resolve your issues with your family and other relationships because whatever you do not resolve in this life time with anyone, you can be sure you will meet up with that particular person in another life time.