The Worst Pain in My Life, Help
by Nyasha Lindiwe
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Like everyone else here I am going through the twin flame separation stage.
Background info on my twin and I: our parents are very close friends and he is 8 years older than me. When we were younger he used to babysit me and my 2 younger brothers and my parents never understood why I was so drawn to him.
Fast forward to recently: I met him in 2010 after 24 years apart. He was married and he had come to my brother's wedding. There was an instant connection there but I avoided him, and we later became friends in 2013. He had left his wife and we became very close friends to the point that we fell in love.
We couldn't touch each other for months because the intensity was too much. One day we were talking, it was misty outside and cold and two dogs (male and female) passed by us, the next thing two birds flew past us and after that he kissed me. I have never felt such intensity from a kiss, felt like our souls collided and my soul jumped from my body into his body and back into mine. The clouds parted for a minute and right in the spot where we stood the sun's rays kisses our warm embrace. I tell people this, but they never believe me.
We have had many unexplained situations that can only be answered on a spiritual level. We had our relationship for a year and like any twin flame relationship we challenged each other on every level. He was my mirror and as much as I wanted to work everything out despite the way he made me face my deepest fears, he couldn't take it and he ran.
He has been running for 10 months now and I am torn apart. He left with all of me. I have not been able to move on to another relationship because he is me. When he misses me I feel it, I dream of him every night when he misses me. I know that when I dream of him he misses me, but he is so afraid of our connection. I know when he is turned on sexually I can feel it, and I know when he has slept with someone. I need help in cutting that connection because it hurts me knowing that he is having sex with someone else that isn't me.