Twin Flame? I Need To Move Forward, Please Help...

by Yaxara
(El Cajon, California, USA)

I was guided to find him.


I typed his name and he was the first one I came across. He asked me if he knew me from somewhere and I said no.

We kept in contact, during that time he was going through a separation from his wife and moved back onto the ship. He was deployed a month after I met him. After 7 months of deployment he came back.

Being away gave him time to think about his situation. I was supposed to be just his friend to support him through the separation. After he came back he decided divorce would be it, I will say I am sincere and I did not influence his decision. If anything I encouraged him to work it out with his wife.

Our conversations were always deep and as time went on they became more intense. When we decided to meet for the first time is when it all changed. I picked him up from base because that's where he was staying after he came back from deployment.

We both wanted a quiet evening, dinner, and maybe sex. After all it was just supposed to be two adults fulfilling a sexual desire and to feel the closeness of another individual. When he got into my car I noticed his strong manly body, I was small compared to him. When I took one look in his blue eyes, I felt he was the one for me.

Anyways, nothing happened that night. No sex, I mean, nice dinner that I cooked and good conversation. We slept like babies and not a moment went by that night that I didn't embrace. He held onto me and I held onto him till morning. I never in my life experienced closeness.

We continued to see each other after that. I Remember a week and a half went by and all of a sudden it bloomed. I was in love with him and I didn't know how it happened. I felt intense energy flow in my heart chakra. I was in heaven because I knew I was going through a spiritual connection as he also felt the soul connection. We both agreed.

There were times when we held hands or when he held my body, the flow of energy was intense throughout our bodies, its like we were vibrating with energy. When he would pull away I would dream of him or I would get signs. He confirmed he did receive signs as well.

I would see or hear his name. Next thing I would knew he would come around. Many times I felt though, I had to let him go. Even though he was separated I felt it was the right thing to do. And I would let him go, but he came right back. I thought well it was meant to be. But, I still felt uneasy.

He spoke of our next steps in life when and if things became more serious, as much as I couldn't believe it was true, I felt complete and whole. I thought I had finally found the love of my life and I was very happy, (considering I have been married, I was divorced way before he came along and I have children too as well as he does). I know his children are important to him. I had the utmost respect for this man.

Well, I finally did let him go and with that I told him he would be the reason why things will change between him and his wife, I didn't know her, but I respected her too and I wanted what was best for them.

I died inside, I knew I had done the right thing, but the pain was unbearable. I reached out to him months later to ask how he was and he replied and said he was okay, and spoke little about his accomplishments and of himself.

The dreams and signs continued, but I grew weaker and the pain became stronger. I was given a crystal skull by one of the most famous UFO researchers daughter, who happens to have one of the original thirteen skull's. It was a mini crystal skull that was part of the 09-09-09 conference of healing.

I gave it to him to help him sort out his thoughts when he found himself in distress. He didn't want to accept it at first because he knew how much it meant to me. The second time I saw him he brought me gold and silver coins from Malaysia. When i tried to return them, he said "no", because they were for me.

Malaysia is the place he often spoke about as his desired retirement place. we both have kept something that belonged to one another. After 2 years since I last saw him, and not including the 8 months we were talking before, I cannot stop thinking about him. I think of him every day and no one understands the connection we had. I don't know how to deal with it, it's torture to think of him because after all he and his wife have a new child.

I did reach out to him because I needed closure. I didn't get much from him other than, "thank you for being a good friend."

I am convinced we will never be together and I am okay with that. But, I am having a hard time accepting it and I cannot find the same connection with anyone else. It's what I yearn for. I can still feel the energy in and over my heart chakra and the energy increases at times.

But please tell me, what can I do? Nothing brings me joy as those moments I had of awakening. How do I deal with this and why can't I stop thinking about him?

I wish he could just talk to me, but I wouldn't step over my boundaries and interfere in his life with his wife. I know telepathically when something is up with him because I usually find out somehow and its on the same day or a day after.

What do I do? Will I or can I take him out of my heart?

Please help because its keeping me from truly being happy with myself. I love him so much that I cannot imagine I can love or be happy without him.

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Aug 10, 2015
Do I Go to Him or Play It Safe?
by: Tanya Tkach, Webmaster

Hello Anon,

I understand how painful and frustrating your situation is for you.

This is the time that you need to take a step back and go within yourself, to feel and to discover who you are and what you want.

To keep up the game of running back and forth is not going to lead to happiness

As a spiritual counselor, intuitive and past life healer, here are some of the issues that I can help you with:

1) finding the issues (triggers) within yourself that keep drawing you to your twin

2) taking back your power and self confidence

3) releasing emotional blockages causing your pain and heartache

4) releasing your insecurities

5) making heartfelt decisions based on your intuition

6) accepting and loving yourself unconditionally

When you are ready to start your journey of self healing, wellness, and transformation you can contact me for an introductory session.

Sending healing vibrations,
Tanya

Aug 09, 2015
Do I Go to Him or Play It Safe?
by: Anonymous

I really hope to hear from someone to help me.

No-one understands and I really need some support and advice.

I'm married to my twin flame. We are now separated. He is in another country. He is 11 years younger than me. We were together for about 4 year in total. Broke up twice (he, being the runner.) He loves me and I love him. Nothing ever ends with him.

He got diagnosed with psychotic depression and that's when he left the second time. Emotionally all over the place, and he literally ran away from me. Literally booked a flight and disappeared. He left me for dead, because I trusted that we would work the second time round, but it got worse...

I was devastated, furious, abandoned by him. I went out and drank every night, got laid and couldn't face to bear that I had failed with him again.

I'm now in another relationship (I was convinced that by being in another relationship to a very beautiful soul, it would help me heal all my pain.)

There hasn't been a day since he left, that I don't think of him.

My current partner, heard me call out his name in my dream and I swear I can feel him reaching out to me... I felt he wasn't doing well. I called him - I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I was desperate to see how he was. He told me he was in rehab, by consuming coke...and his family are there to support him. He said he had a moment and realized he couldn't do it anymore and flushed it down the toilet.

I am very proud that he did that alone and came to a moment of realization. He says, that my love inside of him, has kept hope in himself.

After I spoke to him, I was more confused than ever...that love, you have inside of your veins for someone never goes away, you can feel it through their voice and beyond. He asked me to buy him a ticket to come back to Australia because he wants to study...I was torn, I am sooooo scared...and feel so guilty with my current partner for talking to my twin again as I promised him, I wouldn't, but I did.

Now, I'm sooo lost. 'Im not sure if my twin will run away from me again and am terrified of those emotions playing up once more in losing him, physically.

I got drunk and told my current partner I was still in love with him and that I could never love him the way I do with him and said some horrible, mean awful stuff.

I regret it as I am hurting him...and he threatened to leave me and I couldn't bear that fact, so I promised him I would try my best to make it better and treat him with more respect.

I am a good person and all I want in my life is a family and children. He would make a great husband and father. You see, my head and heart are both saying different things.

I'M LOST! 'Im frightened, the best of me feels like its gone when my twin left. Burnt, dead, like a loss of a death...

I am seriously thinking about packing my bags to go and be with him...but am I still the chaser? Why won't he come here to me instead?

I asked him if he wants to be with me...and he says, of course, he loves me, I know he does. And he is doing sooo much better, I can hear it in his voice, which is why I am afraid of losing him, the best of him...I don't want to miss out on his love, the best love he has, coz I was the one, who received the worst of it, and I want to be the one to get the best of him.

It makes it so much harder that his family's side don't want us to be together and my family don't want me to be with him because they've seen the pain he's put me through. This makes it so much more DIFFICULT.

Do I stay and make it work with my current partner who loves me very dearly and learn to be happy again, because he does make things easy for me and is a wonderful soul, or do I run away from family and go to Colombia and be with my twin again?

He is ready to have family and children. You see, any hope of that, makes all my feelings of deep love trigger back once again. Time after time, after time, time after time, the love eats away at me.

Do I trust the love for one another and take a risk again and hurt my family, or do I stay and make everyone happy and this will also make me happy too?

Please, I need some very serious advice and this is a pinnacle time for me to make a decision in my life for the future.

I mediate daily, the first initial break-up we had, led me to meditation and awakening, but soon lost faith in it all, when the second time of break up happened.

Please some-one, could you help me?

Jul 27, 2014
Twin Flame? I Need To Move Forward, Please Help...
by: Tanya Tkach, Webmaster

Hello Yaxara,

Your story is very moving and will touch all those who have experienced meeting their twin flame.

I know and understand your feelings very well, and all I can offer is my experience through the ordeal of having met my twin flame who I am not with presently, and perhaps may never be with in during this life time. At this time, I have accepted whatever it will be, and that takes time.

It is a very surprising, at times painful yet rewarding experience. I have learned much about myself through knowing him, our issues have been similar yet play out differently because of our different backgrounds.

I have done much cleansing and spiritual work since meeting him. The journey has been arduous, I will not sugar coat it, but on the other hand interesting, informative and life consuming, and is not over.

As I've mentioned many times, twin flames cannot come together until each one has done their inner work and life's lessons, otherwise it will never work.

The relationship shows us what we need to do within ourselves, and one of the great lessons is to love unconditionally - ourselves and others, and especially our twin soul, no matter the situation and consequences. This is the real reason why twin flames come together, to help one another in ways we do not imagine or even wish for. Forget about your expectations.

The relationships between twin flames is for the common good of each other and humanity, and once you understand and accept that, there is no other relationship as rewarding or fulfilling.

In the mean time, you need to work on yourself, cleanse all the negative emotions, thoughts, feelings, behaviors and beliefs and illnesses that are not working for you. Besides, all the negative emotions, thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that you may be carrying within you lead to illness, so get rid of them.

This is your life's work, and it can all come about through knowing your twin flame.

Learn to love unconditionally, honor and respect yourself, and believe me your life will change. Stop looking for what you had with your twin flame, you will not find it.

Learn to go with the flow and accept what is, pray daily and ask for help. Our lessons can be tough and difficult to do alone.

That is my message to you Yaxara and all those who have met and know their twin flame, and it is not over once you do come together.

It is on-going, but I believe, even though I am not with my twin flame, that my life could be more adventurous and surprising through the all-consuming and powerful relationship. So one needs to be ready, and at times I doubt myself feel that I am not!

Sending light and love,
Tanya


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